MARY HUMPHREY COACHING

Am I The Only One That Feels Overwhelmed or Out of Balance?

We go through life in stages, it simply does not remain the same through the years. We experience transitions in relationships, children, work, and physical changes.

Can we just put the brakes on? No, but it might feel good for a short while. So, our thoughts through these twists and turns commonly are:

What’s next in my life?
My energy is drained, each and every day!
How do I move to the next chapter?
What more can I possibly do?
I feel overwhelmed, out of balance!
Something seems missing.
Am I on the right path?
Where is God in this?
I see no connection with my future.

The number one thing that helps in these situations is to realize you are not alone. You may feel singled out, but you never are.

Try breaking your situation down into small manageable pieces, and give yourself permission to think about your own welfare. Women are natural care givers, the care giver must be mindful of her own mental and physical needs!

What’s next in life? (What do you want to do? What excites you the most? What gives you the most energy?)
My energy is drained, each and every day! (What drains your energy the most? How can you turn that around?)
I see no connection with my future. (What goals do you have? Which direction do you want to go? What small steps can you take to begin – or continue – your walk towards your future?)
Where is God in this? (Pray, even if you feel God is not there — these are the times for patience as he never stops molding the plans that he has for you. Meditate on scripture. Apply scripture to your life.)

A friend that listens, one that looks after your own welfare, is also key to surviving transitions in life. Seek out groups or activities where you can meet other women that are in comparable life cycles, or possibly mentors that you can follow or consult with that have been in similar shoes as yours. If your circle of friends do not meet your needs, branch out. Find that harmony.

Start a new interest — something that builds your inner-strength, like a class or physical exercise. This boosts your mental and physical well-being, and both work in unison.

I hope you found this article helpful.

I look forward to your comments, and if you need a listener, I would love to hear from you.

Is it Rain or Shine? How To Handle the Discourager

Sit here with me, get comfortable, and let’s talk about dealing with naysayers.

Dictionary.com defines a naysayer as “a person who habitually expresses negative or pessimistic views.”

These defeatists, people that drain our energy, try to put our fresh ideas on the chopping block by saying:

“I’ve heard other people say it did not work for them.”
“That is something too new, nobody has heard of it.”
“You can’t make money doing that.”
“You are a women, your family and husband come first.” (Yes, they are important…but, take care of you so you are able to be there for them.)
“Really, you want to put yourself through that torture?”
“Been there, done that,” or “It’s already been done.”
“You don’t have enough experience or skills.”
“It is unproven.”
“I love you so much. I want only what is best for you, but…”

The list goes on from here.

1) Consider what the killjoy (i.e. they kill your joy) has to say, but only long enough to ask yourself if their concern is valid. Meditate and pray, while keeping your emotions out of the equation. Do their concerns hold value in the sense that this could be a valid warning for impending failure?

2) Look at the history of the naysayer:
What are they an expert at, or are they an expert at everything (or anything)?
What have they succeeded in at life?
Are you in their best interests, or are you a threat because you might succeed at your goal(s)?
Is the naysayer generally optimistic or pessimistic?

3) Ask yourself these questions:
Are you unique (because someone else failed, will you also fail)?
Have you thought your decision out (the pro’s and the con’s)?
Are you willing to take on a unique career or business, or make that challenging life move?
Who are you making your life decisions for? Your immediate family, God?
Who is afraid of change more than you are?
Who sees you as a threat?

4) The answers to these questions should set the naysayer in their place, without you uttering a sound (remember…forgive and forget). Always consider what they have to say, weigh it out sensibly, and then go!

Never, ever, are you going to please everyone, nor is everyone going to agree with you. In fact, most journeys start out pretty lonely — you take off with your own set of ideas, and isn’t that the way it should be, unique to you? God didn’t design us alike – there are no exact replicas.

Is it a transition, or is it a crisis? (7 Steps to Avoid a Crisis)

All of us experience transition in our lives. How we manage these shifts, and how we perceive them, prevents crisis.

When we are in a transition, we are:

in a passage
experiencing development
experiencing transformation or realignment
at a turning point

When transition takes on a sense of urgency and feels like big trouble, or a mess, it becomes a crisis.

There are several ways to avoid major stress as we enter crucial points in life:

1. Develop a healthy mindset – expect that life will change. When we believe that life should forever remain the same as it is today, we are living in a bubble that will burst. When the big pop happens, major disappointment follows.

2. Acknowledge each change. When we foresee the turning points, each choice we make helps to build a strong bridge that carries us over transitions.

3. Take time for yourself. Women tend to take care of everyone but themselves. They manage their home, their career, their family, and they often put themselves last on the priority list. It is okay to be a caretaker, however, the most efficient women take time to ensure their personal needs are met. This means that their health (physical and mental well-being) are nourished — otherwise, the crisis becomes larger due to a lack of energy and frustration. How can you take care of others if you aren’t taking proper care of yourself?

4. Be honest with yourself. What are your needs? What are your capabilities? What do you want to do in life? What makes you feel energetic?

5. Make a plan. You may feel like you have no time to strategize, but when life gets busy, and it always does, the passage from a small and troublesome change grows to a monster-sized crisis in a snap!

6. Find and embrace quiet time. Quiet time = thinking time. Keep a journal to record your daily struggles, joys, and thoughts. Writing is very therapeutic — it helps to sort out your own ruminations, and leads to answers. Meditate and pray. Again, because women are natural caretakers, they tend to not seek out help. If you are a believer, pray for your needs. Take care of you!

7. Find a listening friend. A friend that listens because they want the best for you is priceless. We are living in a very busy world, which leaves people focused entirely on their own daily lives and deadlines. Get off of the merry-go-round and find someone who will listen.

Please, feel free to reach out to me if you need help with this!

The Ideal Client

Is there such a thing as an ideal client?

I would love to help each woman who does not recognize her personal ability to change and grow. It is ingrained in me to say, “You are worth every moment that you put into your life, and you can do whatever you put your mind to doing!”

Honestly, not everyone is an ideal client, and I am in business to work with women that are committed to sculpting their life into a masterpiece composed from their dreams.

Who is the ideal client?

They believe and practice honesty.

They are fun and can laugh at life itself, their own mistakes, as well as the mistakes of others.

They are open-minded to change and to new ideas.

They know there are no true failures. They know that the only way to fail is to quit.

They have forward thinking. They think about “the now” and “the future,” and they do not dwell in the past, nor do they blame their current choices on the past.

They are responsible. They know that their choices bring action and results.

They love to learn and grow. They perceive a challenge as a growth spurt.

They know that life consists of choices made, including not making a choice.

They are respectful of others.

They are committed to their own life.

They do not make excuses, instead, they do what it takes to move forward and take responsibility.

My ideal client is ready to put time, effort, and money into her future. She knows that her personal investment will have perfect returns because she owns it!

“Self growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no higher investment.” – Steven Covey

Daily Goal Setting

Daily goal setting does not need to be complicated.

Ask yourself, “What are three things that I must complete today that I cannot/must not push off to tomorrow?”

Applying too much pressure to yourself – by giving yourself more than three important priority tasks to complete in one day – can result in a plan that is too difficult to accomplish.

When setting daily goals:

be specific (A vague goal is seldom achievable!)
leave room for the unplanned (Interruptions and day to day life always happen!)
leave time for yourself (reading, exercising, hobbies, quiet time, etc.)
break large goals down into smaller steps that can be accomplished in one day

Breaking your tasks down to a 3-item priority list sets you up for achievement! Today, you did it! Tomorrow, you wake up with a fresh slate, and you are free to set new goals! In fact, I recommend setting your three goals the day before. You’ll set your goals while they are hot on your mind, and you’ll avoid waking up wondering, “What do I need to do today?”

Make at least one of your daily goals a small (or large step) that helps you reach a much bigger long-term goal. Remember – it is better to take one tiny step towards success, than it is to do nothing at all. Small steps add up.

Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. – H.L.Hunt

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