Goal Setting and Prioritizing

The Connection – Clock Watching and Procrastination

clock watching www. maryhumphreycoaching.com8:00 a.m., my office phone sprang to life. It was the CPA. The pressure was on. Not only was I required to reconcile the bank account, which should have been finished weeks ago, he asked me to “snug up the cash” and balance the statement that I had just received.

That early in the day I wanted to rush to the coffee pot (guzzle the whole thing?), turn down the air conditioning in anticipation of sweat production, and I pondered what else I might do to make the day seem less daunting. Pamper me baby. As I looked at the mountains of work growing by the day on my desk I felt little hope. How was I to do this? What would be the outcome if I didn’t complete what I needed to do today?

After hours of putting out spot fires, I clocked in early from lunch with heavy dread rolling in the pit of my stomach. I fell into silent prayer, “Father, I know this is not the most important thing to pray for, but I practically need a miracle. Please help me stay calm so I can finish this today.”

My co-worker made faces through the glass, “Don’t look so serious. You’ll wrinkle your forehead.” Was that meant as humor? Yes. He was right. Relax those facial muscles, woman. You know how to do it, start at the forehead, feel the tension loosen in your eyebrows, and next work on your eyes. That’s the ticket, keep on going. Slacken the jaw. There, you have it.

I got the first statement completed. I was in awe when I glanced through my office window into the lobby. The hands of the serious-looking industrial wall clock had barely moved. A rush of encouragement filled my veins. I can do this!

I dived into the second statement knowing that I had enough time to complete it if I held a positive frame of mind. I never looked at the clock again. Not only did I finish that long dreaded task, I sorted through plans for the next day. It was then that I heard the excited voices of people gathering in the hall outside my door. What in the world was going on in the middle of the afternoon? Then, they left the building, every one of them!

I squinted through the glass and broke out in laughter at what I saw, the old clock was standing still. It had quit working three hours earlier! It was time to go home.

Pure joy filled my heart, and then the lesson came to light.

  1. Trust myself.
  2. Notice where and when procrastination begins (and make it end).
  3. Prayer is always key.
  4. Relaxing is smart and necessary.

The biggest lesson of all — the clock means little.

What have we lost in our lives by clock watching? We watch the hours and minutes rush by, and we push for deadlines, but we shove forward in the opposite direction. We make terrible choices when we feel stress. Instead of feeling motivated we select the road of procrastination, the fastest way to get the most done, which leaves us ignoring what we view as particularly time consuming or difficult. Where does this get us? Tired bones that want to drop in a chair and do nothing, leaving a cluttered mess of what remains, and crumbled pieces that fall through the cracks.

I challenge you to try setting an alarm or reminder, and stop watching time move by. Slow down. Have faith. Do not set the outcome of your life by the clock.

The biggest benefit — a positive enjoyment of life and work, and real accomplishment.

Believe & Invest In You · Life's Challenges & Choices

A New Moment to be Anxious About Nothing

refresh www.dreamstime.comWhen we hit the key to refresh our computer screen it accomplishes several things, but the main thing it does is clear the path that allows our computer to operate on a fresh new page. By doing so, we erase the junk that was slowing progress down.

Gone went the past. Restored and unimpaired came the new moment.

We do not have an easy button in our human anatomy for refresh, but we can virtually select it to unload heaviness. Just how dense and burdensome is the unseen waste from yesterday, this morning, and a few moments ago? Are you ready to give yourself a new moment to be anxious about nothing?

Clear. Refresh. Breathe.

Women in Transition

Fake It Until You Make It

fake it until you make it www.maryhumphrey.comWhat does fake it until you make it mean? It does not mean to be someone that you are not (outside of your value system). It is always important to be your genuine self, but develop the mentality that you can do what you set your mind to doing.

If you want to write a book, when are you starting?

I you want to change jobs, have you sent the first application?

If you want to obtain a degree, have you talked to the financial aid office (or applied for your first class)?

You can do this. Fake it until you make it.

Be the person that you intend to be today. Guess what? This person is you, you just need to give her permission.

From an article that I wrote several years ago, “We have so much to give, so much we can do with imagination.  We are the master gardeners at whatever we do.  We are writers because we think we are.  We are weavers because we think we are.” Do your research and take the step!

What can you do today for your tomorrow? What do you want to do today, and is something holding you back? What successes have you had in your life where you “faked it” through steps in the process?

Believe & Invest In You · Women in Transition

Reflections: What I Gain from Being Coached

I have a coach, which has added to the benefits that I see in coaching.

All of us have skills and values. I am organized, dedicated, on-time, focused (on God, family, friendship, and business…in that order), and I know what my life-mission is.

With this being said, I always walk away from an hour of coaching with something new to think about. My coach, and any dedicated coach, prompts the client to open discussion focused on their needs.The client knows best what they want to achieve in each coaching session.

So, I go into the session (as a client) with an agenda, and I walk away with valuable insight into what I needed/wanted to talk about in that hour, as well as a plan of action to keep me accountable, and afterwards, I always end up in deep thought on things that I never would have dreamed of. These are positive, growth-inspiring results!

I coach because I live my life to encourage and support others with their God-given paths. With myself being coached, I give accolades to what I personally have obtained from investing in myself.

Take a look at what I have accomplished through recent sessions with my coach:

  • Organized. I can write out a list or outline and set myself to work in a snap of a finger. A coach, however, watches for what I have not outlined, such as, celebration points, too much of a push, or too little, meaning, procrastination. In a 10-minute span, we mapped out the start and finish plan for an entire book. This plan went beyond the nuts and bolts of writing, it also included breaks and “toot my horn” moments. These are necessary things, but it took a coach to point what I had been missing out on. How can I inspire and encourage others if I do not share?
  • Dedicated. When there is work to do, and I am the responsible party, I focus and dive in. A coach opens us up to endless dedication. When I tell a person (coach) that I am going to stick with the program, I do stick! The human side of me whispers in my ear, oh, you do not have time for that plan, but the other human side of me says throw out the old me, and I stick with it like glue!
  • Values. A coach ensures we include what we value in our daily lives and work. Work too hard? The coach points us back to our family. Work too little? Our coach asks, “How do you plan to provide income?” A few weeks ago, my coach identified that I needed to put myself first in my daily life. I always ask others, what have you done for yourself today? This self-care should not come last in our priorities. Guess what happens when we put our needs last? What comes last, may not come often enough, if at all.
  • Accountability. A coach helps to keep us on the hook. I’ve felt the squeeze of pressure, pressure that I would not have applied to myself. This is reasonable pressure because I see the results. I have had the mindset that I can manage what I have applied to myself in life, with God’s help, and that I did not need someone else to tell me what to do. While that is true, I have now learned that I do not always see the obvious.

Years upon years of life leads us to a habitual state, and we believe that our way is the right way. Picture a flower that can see inside their own bud. It is quiet, beautiful, peaceful, and it feels right. It is smart to hold that beauty from others? What happens when we share? We encourage others, and they may even see hope for themselves, and follow suit. While coaching is not about telling a client what to do, it is about polishing the edges, so what we do shines through with light.

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What are doing for yourself today? Are you taking care of and investing in yourself? Do you set the example that others will see and want to follow?

Signature Mary L Humphrey

Share, Encourage, and Learn

newsletter www.maryhumpherycoaching.com

Goal Setting and Prioritizing · Life's Challenges & Choices · Women in Transition

Are you feeling overwhelmed with life’s changes? Break it down into 5 steps.

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Feeling overwhelmed by the little things in life is one thing, these types of bumps in the road tend to pass quickly. When the cause(s) seem larger than life, and affect your daily successes and health, take these 5 steps:

  1. List the issues or items that you are leading your stress.
  2. Assign a life transition title, such as, financial, relationship, home, work, business, to each item.
  3. Determine the outcome you want for each item.
  4. List one step that you can take today towards reaching that outcome.
  5. Make the choice to take that action!

When we are caught up in frustration and stress, we fail to realize that many of life’s changes are natural and common shifts. By breaking them down, and assigning a title, we see each transition with objective eyes.

By taking one small action step today, you claim progress!

One more tidbit, life will always be in some form of transition. Learn to handle each change objectively from the start, and you will no longer say, “I will be happy once (this) happens.” You will, instead, be happy in the moment.

Signature Mary L Humphrey

Life Breakthrough Coach

Share – Encourage – Grow

newsletter www.maryhumpherycoaching.com

Believe & Invest In You · Goal Setting and Prioritizing

Every Moment of Life Involves a Choice: What are you doing with it?

As long as we are breathing, we are making choices. We choose to sit, lay choice www.maryhumphreycoaching.comdown, eat, drink, study, read, write, and the list goes on from there.

We also make larger choices, such as, when to start a project, when to end a project, when to do something for ourselves, or when to devote our time to someone else.

We often get hung up on excuses, and we have a difficult time blaming ourselves — and we are quick to blame others (it takes the pressure off of ourselves). “I cannot do this because he (she) did/did not ____________,” “If it had not been for _________________ I would have gotten that done,” or, “I cannot do this today because________________, but I can do it another day. ”

I want you to do an exercise. Look at life through a difference lens. Start today. Be aware of your choices. When you make toast for breakfast, think about the choice that you are making. Which setting is the toaster on? What are you topping the bread with? Are you having coffee or water with your breakfast? This sounds mundane, but all of these actions are choices. As your day progresses, continue this exercise, and pay extra attention to the things that you could be doing that you make excuses for. Write down all of the choices that affect your life, your future, and do this for several days (up to a week).

After several days, or a week of recording your choices, let’s take a look at what you have.

  • What decisions did you take charge of?
  • What choices did you allow others to make for you?
  • Were you a decision maker, or did you make excuses (which is also a decision)?
  • What did you choose not to do?

How have theses choices affected you today?

I believe, when we become acutely aware of our daily lives as a series of decisions, it gives us the reality to become the captain and navigate our ship. We no longer say we are too busy, or that someone else is in our way, or that we will face that decision tomorrow. We gain the clarity are in the ocean (of life) and we have to do something other than float!

What series of choices will you make today? Which direction will these lead  you?

Signature Mary L Humphrey

Life Breakthrough Coach

newsletter www.maryhumpherycoaching.com